I’m Right, He’s Wrong

arguing coupleI had an argument with my husband Arnold the other day.  He was heading out the door to drive off somewhere he said was “important.”  I needed him to take our son Durbin to his parent’s house so they could watch him while we went on a “Christmas Shopping Date” that night.

“What do you mean ‘important’!? You said you would take the boy to Grammy’s house!”  I yelled, a bit peeved that he could be so insensitive.

He refused to give me the details, so I finally figured out it had something to do with getting me a gift.  But I was still angry since I was covered from top to bottom with holiday chores.  I wanted nothing to do with his excuses.

Eventually I won.  He stayed and took Durbin to Grammy’s.

That night we had a very nice trip to the local mall to look at Christmas lights and pick our more gifts for relatives and friends.  Then he sprung the surprise on me at a local coffee shop . . . a beautiful 14 carat gold necklace to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary!  I had forgotten . . . !!

I felt both ashamed and embarrassed.  The look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know . . . that it didn’t matter what I said or did.  He still loves me, no matter what!  He had, in fact, driven Durbin over to his parents’ house, then sped to the store to pick up my necklace.  It was out of his way, but he was determined to surprise me . . . and he did!

With a growing family, and holidays being so hectic, remembering our wedding date in early December has become more and more difficult.  This year I forgot.  He didn’t.  The best anniversary gift I ever received – more than the gold necklace – was his commitment to remembering.  And I love him now more than ever.

It’s not about being right or wrong.  Men (at least as far as women are concerned) are ALWAYS wrong!  It takes a special man to understand that, and to go with the punches . . . to love his wife or girlfriend no matter what she is feeling.

When that happens, guess what . . . the man ALSO gets to win!

Arnold found that out later ;-)

 

 

 

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A Simple Communication Tool

Want a spicier marriage?  A happier home?  Try muscle testing!

I learned of this technique from a friend of mine whose chiropractor uses it to determine all sorts of hidden problems, imbalances and, yes, even subconscious beliefs and psychological or mental blocks.  Muscle testing is simple to learn, easy to use, and can be done anywhere . . . except in public while driving or banking.  ;-)

As I understand it, the body and subconscious work together to either give you a “Yes” or a “No,” depending on the beliefs you bring to the table and the nature of the statements you make.  This method works like a simple lie-detector test built into the body.  For example, a simple “yes” test would be to say something true – or have your partner say something true – while pushing down on the outstretched arm.  It the answer is “yes” the arm will stay outstretched.  If the answer is “no” the arm will get a bit weaker and fail to stay strong against the small push downward.

It’s a bit more complicated than that, but not by much.  The main help it can bring to your marriage or relationship is that you can both use muscle testing to get past the blame and anger that usually goes along with an argument or disagreement.  Once you know how to test each other, both the man and the woman get something out of it.  Men like it because it makes sense and is measurable, while women appreciate the fact that he is doing something together with her that can bring them closer together!

Below is video that will help you understand the process a bit more. Heck, if I can do it, I know you can! My husband and I actually look forward to our regular “muscle testing time” before dinner . .  a time when we can get clear on the hidden blocks that keep us from being happy!

 

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Relationship Coaching At It’s Best

Mars and Venus:  The Serpent Tries to Eat Its Own Tail

coaching couplesYes, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  Men are physically stronger and more mental, and women are physically weaker and more emotional . . .

We hear this stuff all the time . . . mainly because, since the dawn of mankind, we have been trying to figure this stuff out!  Why?  Because each generation has to revisit the same old questions of sexual duality, and how it all works.  Women think that men think like them, then are disappointed when they act stupid.  Men think women have brains like theirs, and are suddenly shocked when women act crazy!

This blog is about stories from both men and women.  Its about the maddening gyrations that two creatures go through when they are faced with an impossible misunderstanding mixed with a strong desire to merge.  Without the desire, no merging would, in fact, take place . . . the sexes are so far apart!

At some point in each article, we will also try to provide some kind of coaching lesson or exercise you can do with your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or significant other to assess your current head spaces.  Hopefully you will walk away with some useful methods you can use to dispel fear, increase love, and get rid of the “Greeblies” . . . those terrible emotional things that stick to your aura and make you want to run away and hide!

Relationship Coaching

Coaching couples is a lot like acting as a referee for a a dog-cat fight.  Both you and the couple know what is happening, see it unfold, and fear the rising tide of anger, fear and wildness, but feel totally helpless to do anything about it.  The main thing a coach or counselor is there for is to listen and provide a safe space for couples to hash it out on their own (with a few timed suggestions in between).

If you are a couples coach or marriage counselor, you know quite well what I’m saying.  so I’m not going to preach to the choir.

I can, however, suggest certain tools and resources you may find helpful in your quest for a smoother session and faster resolution of the relationship “issues.”

Thanks for coming on board.  I hope you will find it helpful . . . and be sure to share each blog post if you do!

 

 

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